It’s still the first month of 2012
but I am forced to make two really hard decisions.
- Which college to take? My dream school or my dream course/job? Sadly, they don’t come together. I missed the chance of taking my dream course at my dream school.
- My last chance in the National Science Fair or go to CDO as a student volunteer.
I really want to join this last National Science Fair. I never won any before, for my seven years experience. This final chance is given to me. We really didn’t expect to take part in this science fair because we won third in the regionals. As per announcement, those who haven’t won first in the regionals aren’t qualified to go for nationals. But it’s the twist of fate. But as it twists, it turns into destiny. I should either join the science fair or not. To join in this science fair means a lot to me. This science project is, for the first time, a product of my own efforts. Unlike last time, I got a lot of help from different people. Now, it’s mostly a product of my own efforts (of course I couldn’t do it without any help).
As for CDO, I could always go there anytime. However, this was the only time given. The only time given for me to reach out there. I was really longing to go there and volunteer but, alas, no time/budget/permission. Also, the pressure from all these people around me. They keep saying “go” because of ridiculous reasons.
I can’t handle the pressure. Why won’t they let me decide on my own? My decisions have always been influenced from the voices of the people around me. I don’t even know what thing I’ve really done that came from my own personal decision, not others.
Oh God, help me. Help me decide. And when I decide, teach me not to regret and make these decisions the best I ever made. Give me peace of mind after I take different things into consideration. Help me understand which is best for me. Guide me after I decide, oh God, that I won’t turn back and continue with the path I’ll take.
Help me make the right choice. Or at least help me work for something to make it the right choice. One I would willingly take. 100%. Not 90%, not even the mere 99.99%. I won’t waste any fraction of my decision. I want to make it a good decision. My own decision, with my own will and my own perception.
